This isn’t normally like me but I’d like to ask for some advice.
I’m new to Empire, and to LRP in general (E2 is my second event ever) and new to my group too, kinda joined them by accident during E1 and know no one OC.
So, on Sunday it’s the 2 year anniversary of a traumatic incident for me, and still affects me now. I’m just a touch worried about how I’ll be IC wise, and whether or not it’s wise to warn my group OC and just basically ask them to keep an eye on me if they notice me withdrawing into myself/becoming morose. I know ruminating on it will do me no good, and do tend to find it helps to think about/do other things. Which is part of the reason why I am going this weekend, to get away from my regular self and the unwelcome memories.
I’m just worried about burdening people with my OC baggage and issues. My problem isn’t so much talking about it, but partly that I don’t really know anyone all that well. Did tell someone about it last event whilst a little worse for wear, but they are not going to be at E2 and I had thought I wouldn’t be able to come.
Sorry for the wall of text guys and the anonymousness. I would have posted this on my relevant national board/group page but yeah… Reasons and stuff and things.
Absolutely mention it to them, plus any coping strategies that you find useful, any warning signs/triggers that might mean that you may need a little extra TLC or anything else they may find useful. That way if they find you they have an idea of what to do to help.
If I had asthma, for example, I’d let my mates know OC so if I found myself unable to speak they would have a good chance of guessing what was wrong and would know where I stashed my emergency inhaler (not sure if this is the greatest analogy in the world but it was what sprang to mind first).
I can understand not wanting to burden people but you have a duty of care to yourself too.
Just have to pluck up the balls to actually tell someone now.
Definitely have a chat to people. You don’t need to give them all the details if you don’t want to, just something like ‘It’s the anniversary of some crap stuff for me, sorry if I’m a bit wobbly, here are some things you can do to help’.
There are a lot of wonky-headed larpers, seems to me even more than you’d expect by chance, so it’s very likely people in your group will have come across this before.
I’m offsite on Sunday (being a godparent), otherwise I’d be happy being a ‘support person’ if you need it, but I’m happy to chat coping strategies etc. My biggest one is to decide in advance what bits of the day I really want to be IC & fully engaged, and which parts I’m okay with dropping OC or just sat round IC eating cake and chatting, rather than anything high-stress. Also sleep - I decide whether I am going to do early mornings or late nights, or have naps in the daytime, but I know that doing four days on very little sleep will leave me unable to cope so I need to make up the sleep somewhere.
Let your group know. Firstly because they need to know in case it comes up, secondly because they’ll want to help you.
I feel confident in saying that the average LARPer is a friendly and sympathetic person who will go from IC indignation to OC offers of help with one “sorry mate, this is an OC thing”.
Expect replies such as: “Need a hand?”; “Want a pint?”; and the legendary “Cup of tea?”
And if you find yourself in need of distraction then just ask someone about their character’s background… they’ll keep talking all night.
Thank you for the advice folks. Really appreciate it, will have a chat with the group when I get on site.
Can always go hide in my tent with the kindle if i need to
Oh also there’s an OOC eating place called Feast with a big tent and chairs and tables you can go if you need to chill and re-fuel when you need to.
OC issues can (often) flag up IC.
Have a word with the group (or just one of them who you trust) if you want to keep it very private and they’ll keep an eye out for you. By letting people know at least they are aware of things and can keep an eye out for you if you need it.
I (and others I know) have certainly never encountered any judgement at Empire.
Crack on and I hope you have a great weekend.
[quote=“Kargur”]Thank you for the advice folks. Really appreciate it, will have a chat with the group when I get on site.
Can always go hide in my tent with the kindle if i need to[/quote]
I strongly recommend bringing earplugs / music along for this. New site isn’t too bad, but it can still be quite noisy in the daytime.
Old site then I retreated to my tent, only to realise that there was a huge battle a hundred metres away, which was not so relaxing!
Also speak with the new player team, they are lovely and are there to help new players with anything
I am planning on going to the new player thingie, arrived so late last time I didn’t make it.
Thank you for all the advice guys. It’s really helped settle my mind about the weekend and what I’m going to do. I really really appreciate it.