Looking for a Buddy


#1

Hello all!
I’m planning on heading to the first event of 2019 but being a total newbie to Empire (and LARP) in general I was looking for someone (possibly also a newbie) to buddy up with… I’m quite an introverted person and I think having one friendly face out in the field, or to camp next to, would put me at ease…slightly.
If there’s any other new people feeling the same way please drop me a message. Or if anyone has any tips on feeling less awkward around strangers please god share them :joy::pray:t2:


#2

I’m not sure how much help I can be with teaming up with you but I can give you a few tips on feeling less awkward around strangers.

A really basic one that you can do at larp is wear something that covers your face. I find this helps as if you feel you have made a mistake then you don’t have to worry about people judging you because no one knows who you are.

I find that simply forcing yourself to stand up straight and speak clearly can help. Sometimes you will also need to reassure yourself in your head. Hand gestures can fill silences and if you make sure you annunciate each word, it should get you to speak a bit slower, thus give you time to think, but not make it seem obvious.

Also if you have a reason to talk to them, that can help. For example, if you are looking for something. If you do this, you have to push the sentence out before you have time to stop yourself and then let it go from there.

Having food and drink either to give away or sell can also be a good reason.

Almost everyone I have met at anvil has been friendly. People are a lot more open to talking there as you all have something in common and it is a fairly niche thing. I’ve spoken to many people in the food line and while setting up my tent.

A compliment is a great place to start. “Your costume is great” will all most always get a positive response. I usually ask about whether or not it is there first time and what they do. Having openers ready can be a help.

May I ask about your awkwardness. You don’t have to tell me if you don’t want to. If you do want to tell me and don’t want other to know then feel free to use the private messaging things to contact me.

If it is something like anxiety, I find that getting used to what ever about it makes you anxious can help. Slowly build up a resistance to that fear, a bit like with poison. I used to get really anxious in social situations but now I can have conversations with strangers because I have taken time to work on it.

If you don’t know why you find talking to people awkward, I suggest you consider it as it may offer a solution.

My last suggestion is to try and be a character who is confident and talks a lot. It will be easier to hold that confidence if you are constantly reminded of traits about yourself that make you feel awkward. If you are a kind person, maybe be bit of an A-hole. Change your voice to something else.

What nation where you planning on?


#3

Oh another thing, I would suggest getting involved on here a little bit as getting used to the kinds of people who will be there, may make things easier.


#4

I Thanks for your reply!
I have pretty bad social anxiety resulting in being introvert (started in secondary school and never left). I actually watched a video about how LARP had helped a girl get over her own anxiety and being a creative/imaginative person I thought it would be a fantastic opportunity! I have endured panic attacks in the past usually in crowded places so that is something I am slightly concerned about…
the character I am currently working on is a fairly out going person so I’m hoping I will be able to do her justice.
I’m looking at Wintermark for my nation I loved their nitty, gritty history and multiple traditions (but mostly due to their awesome costumes if I’m being honest)


#5

No problem.
l found that when I used to get panic attacks, finding a reflective surface, looking myself in the eyes and then talking out loud to myself really helped to calm me down. At larp, if you start doing that, people will probably think it is part of your RP so that should be fine. If people do realise things are going wrong, they will probably try and help you. Quite a few people who do larp may have anxiety or depression or other such things.

I remember a few events ago, someone broke down in the middle of the field and I, and someone else, went over to see if she was okay. None of us knew the other but the other person and I went over anyway. We ended up finding her friends and getting her back to her nation. You will not go short of support.

With my anxiety, I slowly pushed myself out of my comfort zone. I started singing when I walked back home. I was lucky that the places I walked home along had no one around so I didn’t have to worry about anyone hearing but there was the possibility. I then slowly built this up. Places like the woods are good. You can greet people as you pass them as it is normal there and you will never see them again so it doesn’t matter what they think and as it is a greeting, they should appreciate it. From there I began speaking to people on the bus. I set up some strict rules on how to talk to them.

You will find Wintermark is a great place for new people as they have a lot of them there. They are the busiest nation however. Anvil (the place name of the place, just in case you didn’t know) will have a few thousand people there at a time, just so you have an idea of scale. They are fairly spread out, but you will usually see about ten to twenty people at a time.

I suggest you also use your creativity and make a few things that you can use to help break the ice. Last time I tried writing a song, unfortunately I forgot the words but if you have it all written down, then you won’t have to worry. Wintermark quite like poetry. Think of Beowulf and other such sagas if you are looking for tone.

If you have face book, I suggest you find the Wintermark facebook page and see if you can make some friends there. I’m not from wintermark but if I am there next time and I see you, I’ll be sure to come over to you and ask how you are.

I hope you find this helpful. Welcome to Empire and if you have any more questions, feel free to ask.


#6

Heya here’s a link that talks about handling anxiety in a LARP context that might be helpful - http://larphacks.tumblr.com/post/124161970329/process-hack-handling-oc-anxiety-in-larp . Will see what other advice I can track down or think of :slight_smile:.

Welcome aboard btw.


#7

Thank you so much :blush: hopefully I’ll be able to say hi in April , I’m gonna head down on the thursday so I may meet people OOC before having to don my garb and leave Steph in the tent :+1:t2:


#8

Hey, I’m hopefully going to also be attending the April larp. I’ve been once before but sadly the group I went with last time isn’t returning so this will be my first time attending alone. It would be cool to know at least one person before attending so if you are around feel free to give me a shout might be able to show you around the areas I actually remember :stuck_out_tongue: .


#9

Unfortunately, it is not uncommon for bits of anvil to be in other locations. It all depends on the conditions and the situations that PD are having to deal with. Hopefully though, not too much has change, Navarr and the imperial orcs definitely stay in the same place but I’m not sure about the other places. Basically, don’t be surprised if you get a little lost on the first night.


#10

Ah that’s a shame. Thanks for the heads up. Honestly I’m treating this as basically a completely fresh experience as I don’t have the comfort net of my friends this time.


#11

That’s sad to here you friends aren’t returning, but “YEY!” Someone willing to be a friendly face! :grin: I’m going to be camping in the OOC area so I can have some down time when I need it, hopefully I’ll see you there!


#12

No problem. You might be lucky of course and find that things are how they were last time, which I personally would like because I also usually get lost on the first night. What nation are you from?


#13

I WAS from the League but because my character is bound to a banner that doesn’t exist anymore my nation may well change for my second event. (I’m unsure how to change my Banner) It would be good to see a friendly face there yes! feel free to message me Steph closer to the event if you want to meet up.


#14

Awesome thanks Tim :+1:t2:


#15

Well you have two possibilities, either you try and recruit people to your banner as if they haven’t returned, you are now the acting head of that banner or you simply just ask around and see if you can join another cartel. If you want to switch nations then you may need to get an egregore to help you there. It certainly is possible as I know a few people who have switched nations and I think they have been playing for a while so there it is never too late to change.


#16

Either email PD, or go into GOD. You can swear to a new banner (or sect, or coven) quiet easily, it just requires a ref (or GOD), the owner of the banner/coven/sect to be present, and a mage to cast Create Bond.


#17

I’m a shy person who copes well with being an introvert. I have developed coping strategies that are so effective many people I know don’t know I am shy at all. So I have some tips.

Remember you have the right to speak to anyone, as much right as anyone, so go ask people questions about themselves.

Start with: “Hi, how are you today?”

Then: “Been coming to Anvil/Empire long?” (It is useful to have practiced a generic first line or two, gregarious people do this without even noticing they are doing it)

Look them in the eyes, try to guess how they are feeling. Ask them their name, use it in the next sentence and again at the end of the conversation.

During conversation do not worry. Just say something. Don’t worry about whether you said something ok, or funny or appropriate. Every remark – however garbled or odd or scintillating or charming – was just the introduction to the next part of the conversation.

When they reply listen to what they say, really listen, and say something about what they said.

Ask them questions about themselves, where they are from and what they are doing, what they want to do, tell them their costume/tent/car is cool/neat/enviable. Everyone likes talking about themselves.

Don’t apologise, unless you’ve stepped on their foot or knocked over their drink. Don’t say “Sorry to bother you” or “Sorry I’m shy” Say ‘thank you’ instead. “Thanks for taking the time to talk to me.”

Finish with: “I’m going to y and then z. It was nice to meet you {name}. I hope we can chat again later.”

If you want more tips like these I can strongly recommend: If I Understood You, Would I Have This Look on My Face? By Alan Alda https://www.amazon.co.uk/Understood-Would-Have-This-Look/dp/0812989155/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1544034776&sr=8-1&keywords=alan+alda

Also come and look for Angus Foggie(OC)/Cormack Dun(IC) at Dunhearth Hall in Wintermark. I’m looking forward to speaking to you and will happily help find you friends and game.


#18

More than happy to be a friendly face if you need.

If you know what nation you want to play it may be worth reaching out to someone from them, but if not don’t worry there’s lots of time. And people here ill be more than happy to answer questions, on anything and everything.

Also everyone at Anvil is more than accomodating, the phrase ‘I’m new to Anvil’ is totally okay to say, and everyone will understand its the first time and help out. I know lots of people who Larp and have social anxiety and while its not for everyone, I know its helped several of them, so i’m more than happy to introduce if you need.


#19

Some good advice on here Steph.

You may also want to have a look at the adventures of RickVanMan at Anvil, on youtube.

A nice tip for starting conversations In-Character: Before each event are released the Winds Of War (and the Winds of Fortune). These are big important news, affecting whole nations, provinces, battlefronts, and so on. Your character (however sketchy) is likely to have one or two of them relevant. Read up on a fee of them, and you’ll have a topic of conversation to discuss with anyone… :slight_smile:

The nations rarely move around too much, this last year has been unusual due to expanding into an extra field.

Happy to answer all questions!


#20

Welcome to Empire!

Don’t know if anyone has mentioned it, but a good way to get out there is to act as an apprentice under an established player. Senators, archmages etc are all very busy and always need stuff done.

Me personally, I’m the broker for my striding and as always happy to give newbies a job or two. Feel free to give me a message if you want :slight_smile: