I re-read the first page, and was reminded of a certain story:
Another Tale of Virtue, from the famous publication: The Good Doctor’s Adventures Vol. VI - Special Highguard Parents’ Edition (with all the gory bits still in tact, but none of the brothels and half the Cambions!
*Once upon a time, Doctor Ferrero, yes, that’s right children, The Good Doctor, was travelling with his very good friend, the Gatekeeper of Ambition, as they went to visit the Orc camp for some very important business.
As they approached, there stood at the gate a tiny Orc child, practising his stance with two short swords, each the same size as him! Now, as everyone knows, you should only visit the Imperial Orcs as a group. Otherwise, it is very, very rude indeed, and the gate is always guarded!
So, the Gatekeeper of Ambition, not a tall man himself, bent down and asked the tiny Orc child:
“May we enter your camp, little Orc child?”
And the tiny Orc child looked into the silvery face of the Gatekeeper of Ambition and said, with a long considered pause:
“Uhhm…”
“…do you have any sweeties?”
The Gatekeeper of Ambition patted his pockets, and he turned to his apprentice and she checked her satchel, and they turned to Captain Ferrero and he looked in his pouch, and while he was a famous Chocolateer, his delicious chocolate covered golden balls were always in so much demand that everyone got their hands on them already! Finally they turned to his bodyguard and she checked her… well she was from the Brass Coast so there was only a limited amount of places she could store things.
Turning back to the tiny Orc child, the Cardinal of Ambition said:
“No, I am afraid we do not have any sweeties.”
“Oh” said the tiny Orc child in disappointment, looking down at his blades
“May we enter if we pay you some coin?” enquired the Cardinal of Ambition
“Uhhm…” The Orc child said again, pontificating with another lengthy pause. “Okay.”
“Excellent. Here is 3 Rings, little Orc child.” said the Cardinal of Ambition, as he reached into his pocket and handed the tiny Orc child 3 Rings
Well now, of course we all know the Gatekeeper of Ambition is from The League, and so too was his apprentice. So she turned to the tiny Orc child and she said:
“Here are 5 Rings, thank you little Orc child.” as she handed him a single 5 Ring coin.
Duke Ferrero looked on. Well, everyone knows that Ferrero is exceptionally wealthy, and equally handsome AND generous, with a deep understanding of all of the Virtues. So, not to be shown up by an Apprentice, he reached into his fabulous red velvet pouch with midnight lining and Lann runes and said with a cunning wink to the Gatekeeper of Ambition:
“Then, little Orc child, I shall give you 10 Rings!” and he produced two 5 Ring coins with a flourish; 18 Rings the tiny Orc now had.
Finally, everyone turned to Ferrero’s Freeborn bodyguard. She looked at each person, in turn, and reached in to her… pocket… and looked at what her last coin was. Oh dear, the Freeborn bodyguard thought to herself, but here she was with two very important people! Swallowing, in one impressive gulp, all the Pride she could handle, she stated:
“Oh yeah? Well here’s a Crown!” passing the 20 Ring coin to the tiny Orc child, placing her hands on her hips, and meeting the eyes of all involved.
So they walked into the camp, and they were greeted warmly by a big Orc, and they were sat at the fire, and told their story about each in turn one upping the last in paying at the gate. To which the big Orc pissed himself laughing and accused the tiny Orc child of fleecing people visiting the Orcs, thought he Cardinal of Ambition stated he never required it, simply demonstrated Ambition in asking! The big Orc called over another passing big Orc, and they laughed together, and they called over their families and they all laughed, and much merriment was had; the tiny Orc child having more money now than any Orc, and more than three times the average citizen!
Children, they rightly ascertained, will one day own the Empire.
The End*
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