Trying to find characters on the field


I’m trying to come up with some phrases that are the least helpful when trying to find characters on the field (for comedy purposes).

For example:

“Um, Varushkan, wears a hat?”
“Highborn. Mostly dressed in black.”

What do people say when they come to visit your nation trying to find someone?


“I’m looking for this Wintermarker, got a beard, wears leather…”

“That Leaguer with the hat…”

“I’m looking for that Dawnish guy… the loud one” Any further details? “Last time I saw him he was wearing shiny armour.” And when was that? “On the battlefield.”


I mean he had plate armour on.


Navarr, had some tattoos.
Any idea what the tattoos look like?
Sorry, no.


“Hang on, I remembered! The tattoes looked like vines or brambles or something like that! You know who I mean now, yeah?”


“The Urizeni with the robes”
“What colour?”
“Blue I think…”



‘You know the Freeborn girl? Really colourful one.’
‘Anything else?’
‘Wears a lot of jewellery’

Or just in general
’You know that loud guy with the beard and long hair?’


“Loud guy with beard and long hair” I feel so called out…

In Varushka “I think his name started with a V…” or “They were really intense and/or scary”


“I’m looking for an orc. Often seen with another orc. Wears a lot of brown.”


I wish I could laugh but as a member of the militia these are some of the better descriptions we get of witnesses, perps etc. :wink:

There are a few particularly good ones but my personal favorite is probably, ‘an orc, they all look the same to me’.


Highguard, "Had a hood, Carried a bell…"
League, "The one with the fancy mask, pompus attitude, think they had a mask…?"
Urizen: Had blue robes and a mages staff, It happened near Conclave…
Dawn: It happened so fast, All I could hear was glory, and I was blinded by the shiny breastplates
Marcher: They were wearing green and covered in mud. Spoke in a Devonshire accent
Orc: There was a gang of them, Some had patches of the First Army, Others the second.
Navarri: They were wearing green and had tattoos. They were thorn shaped.
Varushka: A bit dour, had a fuzzy hat and said I was lucky it was only them I met.
Wintermark: Black clothes, Fur, Was a load of them. Can’t remember if they had feathers and skulls or not.

Changelings: Had Horns, Sounded a bit arrogant.
Droughir: Looked like they hadn’t seen the sun for while, looked…hungry


“I’m looking for a Varushkan. Floppy Hat, Thick Accent and glares a lot”

"I’m looking for a High Guard, I think they were a priest?’

“I’m looking for the Freeborn who’s dedicated to prosperity? Owns a fleet?”

“I’m looking for the Dawnish Heavy infantryman, I think they’re were a knight?”


Im looking for a Navarr, they had daggers and was wearing brown.

You’re going to need to narrow it waaaay down.


Looking for someone - Dawn I think? - they were shouting about “Death to the Druj!”


“I’m looking for a League Cambion. They were wearing red and gold.”


Thank you for all these, they are comedy gold! Or do I mean red and gold?

I’ll get my coat.


You can have this one, this is a genuine situation I found myself in. I’m looking for someone, not too tall, but not short, taller than me but not much taller. Had a sword, pretty big one I think or at least bigger than mine. Looked like they where dressed for winter. If anyone can identify this person I’d love to know as this is genuinely a description I got asked.


How tall was the person asking it?
And how big was thier sword?

Theme from ‘Sherlock’ starts playing


A little shorter than the person they were looking for.


…and then it turns out to have been someone from Dawn, because Urizen does not have a monopoly on blue.