Trying to find characters on the field


#1

I’m trying to come up with some phrases that are the least helpful when trying to find characters on the field (for comedy purposes).

For example:

“Um, Varushkan, wears a hat?”
“Highborn. Mostly dressed in black.”

What do people say when they come to visit your nation trying to find someone?


#2

“I’m looking for this Wintermarker, got a beard, wears leather…”

“That Leaguer with the hat…”

“I’m looking for that Dawnish guy… the loud one” Any further details? “Last time I saw him he was wearing shiny armour.” And when was that? “On the battlefield.”


#3

I mean he had plate armour on.


#4

Navarr, had some tattoos.
Any idea what the tattoos look like?
Sorry, no.


#5

“Hang on, I remembered! The tattoes looked like vines or brambles or something like that! You know who I mean now, yeah?”


#6

“The Urizeni with the robes”
“What colour?”
“Blue I think…”

:slight_smile:


#7

‘You know the Freeborn girl? Really colourful one.’
‘Anything else?’
‘Wears a lot of jewellery’

Or just in general
’You know that loud guy with the beard and long hair?’


#8

“Loud guy with beard and long hair” I feel so called out…

In Varushka “I think his name started with a V…” or “They were really intense and/or scary”


#9

“I’m looking for an orc. Often seen with another orc. Wears a lot of brown.”


#10

I wish I could laugh but as a member of the militia these are some of the better descriptions we get of witnesses, perps etc. :wink:

There are a few particularly good ones but my personal favorite is probably, ‘an orc, they all look the same to me’.


#11

Highguard, "Had a hood, Carried a bell…"
League, "The one with the fancy mask, pompus attitude, think they had a mask…?"
Brasscoast: "I WAS ATTACKED BY A SWIRL OF COLOUR AND THE NOISE OF JANGLING"
Urizen: Had blue robes and a mages staff, It happened near Conclave…
Dawn: It happened so fast, All I could hear was glory, and I was blinded by the shiny breastplates
Marcher: They were wearing green and covered in mud. Spoke in a Devonshire accent
Orc: There was a gang of them, Some had patches of the First Army, Others the second.
Navarri: They were wearing green and had tattoos. They were thorn shaped.
Varushka: A bit dour, had a fuzzy hat and said I was lucky it was only them I met.
Wintermark: Black clothes, Fur, Was a load of them. Can’t remember if they had feathers and skulls or not.

Changelings: Had Horns, Sounded a bit arrogant.
Droughir: Looked like they hadn’t seen the sun for while, looked…hungry


#12

“I’m looking for a Varushkan. Floppy Hat, Thick Accent and glares a lot”

"I’m looking for a High Guard, I think they were a priest?’

“I’m looking for the Freeborn who’s dedicated to prosperity? Owns a fleet?”

“I’m looking for the Dawnish Heavy infantryman, I think they’re were a knight?”


#13

Im looking for a Navarr, they had daggers and was wearing brown.

You’re going to need to narrow it waaaay down.


#14

Looking for someone - Dawn I think? - they were shouting about “Death to the Druj!”


#15

“I’m looking for a League Cambion. They were wearing red and gold.”


#16

Thank you for all these, they are comedy gold! Or do I mean red and gold?

I’ll get my coat.


#17

You can have this one, this is a genuine situation I found myself in. I’m looking for someone, not too tall, but not short, taller than me but not much taller. Had a sword, pretty big one I think or at least bigger than mine. Looked like they where dressed for winter. If anyone can identify this person I’d love to know as this is genuinely a description I got asked.


#18

How tall was the person asking it?
And how big was thier sword?

Theme from ‘Sherlock’ starts playing


#19

A little shorter than the person they were looking for.


#20

…and then it turns out to have been someone from Dawn, because Urizen does not have a monopoly on blue.