Depression vs Attendance

Hey, pretty sure this isn’t the right category but none of the others seemed to fit more.

Basically, help me make a choice. I’m currently in a depressive episode. Would it be healthier to attend Empire and not let depression get in the way OR stay at home and ignore the stress?

Can’t speak for anyone but myself, but I’ve sometimes found that getting away and being made to be active sometimes helps my headspace.

And, not knowing how your depressive episodes present, it might be nice to just be around people and have a chance to be away from mundane stresses.

(Said knowing how stressful and anxiety inducing large groups of people can be)

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The social aspect is really my biggest worry. I know that the Empire crowd are lovely but I have trouble overcoming the social anxiety normally. I’m worried with the depression I’ll just be sitting there thinking “They hate me but are too polite to tell me to duck off”

… Yeaaaah I’m not.going to attend this one. I love Empire but I don’t think I’d be in the right headspace to enjoy it.

Plus, I’d much rather blame Depression for missing Empire than I would blame Empire for Depression. Ser you all in September.

Ps sorry for a waste of a topic, but putting things into words helps.

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It’s not a waste if it helps.
Brainweirds can be a pain in the arse and sometimes talking out loud about it can sort stuff through

(The parsing is off on how I’ve phrased this, I do apologize)

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Hey no worries, talking about this stuff is good I’m told ;). And Pro self care move as being depressed in a field is no fun if it hangs around.

Also don’t worry about shifting your booking to Sept, drop PD an email and they’re usually cool about this stuff.

Best of luck for E4.

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With empire, when you interact with the people, you aren’t actually interacting with them, you are interacting with a character. That means, if they don’t like you, it doesn’t matter because there is a high chance that they actually do. Also as it is a character, people will be more likely to be honest with it you. I’ve had a few times when people have acted a little abrupt with me IC but I have spoken to them OOC and they have been fine. If they aren’t telling you to go away IC, then I think they are even less likely to tell you to go away OOC.

I also find it stressful talking to other people. I also wonder ‘what if I’ve done something wrong and they hate me’. There are a few things that I do to sort this out.

  1. I wear a face mask. This means that if I do make a mistake, people won’t know it was me OOC. This means they don’t associate my character with me. My character is very curious. He goes round to many nations and asks many questions. This event he asked about something very bad in the marches. They were not happy.

  2. I look at which interactions made you feel worst and why. I went to navarr for song and story time. I was the only audience member who wanted to join in. They got a little bit annoyed about be asking again and again to join. I left feeling upset. What I do now is, I only sing a song or two when I sit down by the fire. I have learnt that in some situations saying less can help. Don’t say too little however.

  3. When things used to get too much for me, I’d find somewhere quiet, find something reflective, look into it and start talking to myself. I used the image of myself and pretended it was someone else who was there for me to calm me down and give me the advice I need, because usually, you already have the advice you need, you just can’t access it.

  4. Depression can sometimes be something you must overcome. I will admit, that sometimes it is best to just lie in bed and be depressed, it is good to have sometime to yourself to sort things out, but when it gets to a certain point, you need to get up. I find a short walk somewhere nice can help with this.

  5. People can be scary but if you practise having interactions with people, you get used to them. I started off with short, friendly things like a greeting. This is a good start because, it is friend so the person you have greeted will most like be happy you have done this so you won’t have to deal with them being annoyed, it is short so if they are already angry, you can keep going and you don’t have to deal with it and then you will never see that person again.

I hope this is helpful. I know for a fact that a lot of the people on the field are dealing with similar things and that a lot of the people on the field would be happy to give you support if they see you are struggling. I always find empire daunting but when I get there, I always have a good time. I hope you are feeling better for E4.

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You’re not alone

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I suffer from the hellish trinity of depression, anxiety and PTSD. My advice is to come along, my first weekend at Empire was overwhelming and I ended up going to bed for 36 hours but It get easier and it gets better.

The majority of the folk you meet are amazing and letting a few people know you suffer on the downtime of Thu/Fri will mean you have some people in the field keeping an eye out for you.

One final thing to consider, you can take medication, you can speak to your counsellor or therapist but doing things that are fun create endorphins similar to exercise, the more fun you have the happier your brain will be in response and the easier your event will be, one kicker though, when you get home you will probably experience post LARP comedown, this can be very hard to deal with especially if you suffer with depression.

PM me if you need any advice or support, if we all look after each other we can have a lot of fun

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I’m glad larp is something that you have found that helps you. Hang in there.

For what it’s worth, my first experience of a fest LARP (not this one) was a double-edged sword.

I spent the whole weekend feeling much better; I was able to just let go and be a musketeer rubbing shoulders with a pseudo-Roman legion while glaring at drow and panda-people. The whole thing was so surreal that I think my issues just melted away.

When I left, I think I started crying in the car. Not “I am so sad I cried,” but more unexplained tears followed by lots of confusing emotions and a week of intense anxiety. I had never experienced anxiety like that, being sent home from work because I was such a mess.

After Empire events, I book a day or two off work to unwind and unpack my head; I write my character’s journals, write up any reckoning for the event (League…) and generally process what happened so that I can let go. The worst I have dealt with since then is phantom rings and a general feeling that I would rather be in a field than a classroom, but that’s normal.

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Depression is a pit always try and climb out you will find many helping hands reaching back to you, more so at Empire than most places!

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