IC Relationships


#1

I have never done larp before and have heard about people getting married/being in romantic relationships IC. just out of curiosity, how does this work both IC and OOC? (im probably not phrasing this question well/ dont know what to ask. sorry about that :sweat_smile:)


#2

Lots of communication!

If you think your character might be interested in forming anything other than a friendship or business relationship with another character then please talk to the player, preferably before or after time in and see if it’s something they can see their character reciprocating, or not as the case may be. Make sure you’re both happy where the boundaries are, both for conversation / insult topics and any physical actions, inc holding hands, kisses etc.

Also do be aware of any OOC relationships and if necessary check with their actual partner as to the limits they’re comfortable with too.

I suspect much of the more demonstrative role play you will have seen is possibly between players who are OOC life partners, or OOC really good friends already, so they already know their boundaries. It’s much more tricky with someone you don’t know so well - unfortunately just like real life!


#3

Yup, to echo Charlie, talk, don’t assume, and not just at the outset; you may find that boundaries change over time (in either direction) or one of might give it a go and discover it doesn’t work for any reason.

If something happens in uptime, don’t be afraid to drop out of character and check in, OC boundaries are more important.

Prepping something out of character, where you have a chance to speak frankly about boundaries is preferable to winging it on the field and risk things going wrong.


#4

This sort of thing is (part of) what tends to be called “ballgowning”.
There’s a good blog-post about it here:


#5

Two more useful articles:
http://larphacks.tumblr.com/post/105878714762/fake-it-five-questions-to-ask-your-lover
and
http://larphacks.tumblr.com/post/123646447115/process-hack-how-to-avoid-being-creepy


#6

From my experience: Loads of communication and letting both parts know what is going on OC.
I have roleplayed romances in many larps. In almost all of them it didn’t mean anything OC (“Hey, that scene we played was fantastic! Hope to play with you again”). In one of them we ended mixing up both an IC and OC (she was a “very good friend” of mine, you know what I mean).
A girl I have played with in many larps tends to roleplay many romances or relationships. She is very open with the player she is courting, taking him somewhere to talk OC and discuss “hey, how would you like this to end, OC?”.

In other words, it is easy to confuse a very good acting in a romance with actual OC courting. So my advise is that you always ask clearly and openly if the other player is actually trying something OC or if he/she is open to it. It may feel awkward to do so, but better awkward than making a very uncomfortable assumption :slight_smile:

Hope this helps.


#7

Echoing the “lots of communication” from above, and also from my experience it’s the sort of thing where a good IC/OOC boundary is important.

If you’re spending time doing romantic roleplay with another character, then it helps a lot to chat to the player when you’re both OOC and reinforce the very different interactions you have there (in my case, it’s mostly pointing and laughing at both of our characters :smiley: ).


#8

You should try setting up a dating booth so you can help people and see how they do it :joy: !