Hi everyone
Thank you all for your replies so far - they fill me with equal parts hope that there is good game out there, as well as dread that I may lack the social skills and/or confidence to put myself out there enough, or change enough, to actually achieve that good game. I think I had just that hope when I started, but the repeated negative experiences I’ve had previously have really run me down.
I’ll add some additional information in about myself, as a few questions have been asked.
I’m a member of the Navarr. As one of the larger nations, I think you are all correct in that I can end up lost amongst them. There seems to be little in the way of inclusion or roleplay on a Nation-wide scale. On a smaller scale, I’ve somewhat “limpeted” on to an existing group of people who sell/trade IC resources and OC products. The times I am playing seem to mostly consist of OC discussion around values, prices, and bartering, and otherwise sitting around waiting for people to walk up and shop. Wider conversations about other IC occurrences do not seem to happen.
In terms of the game I am looking for, it is hard for me to commit to something without knowing what it involves. I can say that trading is likely off the table as, as above, there seems to be very little RP surrounding it. One of the few areas that I have thought about is mooting, or debating in some way. My limited understanding is that those areas most occur around religion and politics. As I lack sufficient IC world knowledge, I find those areas impenetrable. Does anyone know how I would go about getting into these areas?
I think, and this is at the root of a lot of my problems, I don’t know what I want from LARP. People talk about LARP in very enticing terms. I play a lot of DnD, and the notion that that could be played out actively, and in person, was what originally drew me to the game. I create characters that reflect conflicts I find within myself, and then play them out in ways that challenge myself, and my ways of typically tackling those conflicts. It’s the complex, interpersonal, interactions, that really draw me in, and keep me going back to DnD. Then the question of what specifically at LARP do I want to do arose and, unfortunately, I never found an answer.
Additional background covered, I’ll also cover off a few of the actions mentioned. Thank you all who suggested them.
Digging into the Winds, I’ll confess that I don’t understand them. They appear, to me, to be loose form RP prompts, concerning the goings on in various nations or geographical areas. I do not think that I have ever experienced an interest in those locations, people, titles, or goings on. I find them difficult to understand in how loose form they are. I also do not have the depth of world knowledge required to interpret sufficient nuance . I think I am looking for direction, for one of the Winds to tell me where to go, or what to do. I do no think they do that, and I have never found them helpful.
I have attempted to talk to both my Egregore and GOD to seek assistance at previous events. The Egregore is constantly surrounded by many people, and I find it too intimidating to approach them. As with many other people, they also seem far too busy to pin down for even a momentary discussion. GOD have simply turned me away, and informed me that I have to figure out the game by myself. I will highlight (if I allow myself a moment to vent) that most of my interactions with PD staff/GOD/admin are typically negative. They appear to be stretched thin dealing with queries of every sort. I understand the position that they are in, and the stress the job comes with. It means that I as a player am never a priority, and the task of helping me must fall to other players. This seems to be the way of things.
I appreciate the mention of the monster crew, as providing more structure and purpose. I will not, however, be emailing PD to ask them to join. Negative PD experiences mentioned above aside, I want to have a player experience filled with entertainment and fun, and don’t want to work. I hope that does not come across as too harsh - I appreciate the hard work that all the volunteers put in to running such a large event. It is an option that may work for some, but I do not find it appealing.
I have enquired at the Hub/Offices for work before. There was nothing to do. I sat on a bench for an hour waiting for something, and nothing arose. I am reticent to go down this path again. Not to put too unfair a comparison on it, but the ticket price of £75+ could purchase a meal out, a spa day, or a day at an amusement park. Perhaps I am jaded by my previous experiences, but these all seem preferable to begging for a fetch quest in a field, of which there is no guarantee of success.
I hope I am not coming across as too negative. Enjoying LARP is something I do not seem to be able to do, no matter how hard I try. I am picturing myself on the field at E1, at the entrance as I take my first step. I ask myself - where am I going now that will make a difference? I do not feel like I have an answer, and I see the weekend full of other people swirling around me, as they all begin to have fun and I, once again, do not.
